Every moment

14 years.  S always sends a bouquet containing the stargazer lilies I carried so many years ago.  My dear friend Bob always used to say of marriage,  "every moment, pure bliss".

Band Concert

K's first band and choir concert.  She was lovely and so grown up.

Christmas 2008

We had a lovely day.  We watched Its a Wonderful Life for the first time as a family and then went for our annual drive to look at lights and for Rudolf.  We stayed up later than usual, so Sam slept in until 7:00 am.  The kids were delighted with their gifts.  Mom, Dad, Carlos , Grace, Chris and our student from the college, Wenyang shared lunch with us.   We rested in the afternoon then walked down the street to dinner at the Redings with the Cogleys. 

Birthday

A slumber party, cake, candles and presents.  Our family and a friend of K's (for emotional support) made the trip to Des Moines to get K's ears pierced.  s was a great brother, holding her hand tightly the entire time.  Although she asked if it was ok if she screamed, she didn't let out a peep.

Twenty five

Some scenes from our gathering over the weekend.  We were elated to have Greta with us.  On top of that, Marie, came to visit for an evening.  I need to work on having my camera with me more often.  I don't have many pics, but I do have lots of memories.

Twenty Five

I find the stories that make up an oral family history fascinating.  Our family stories include K using the word 'bread' when she lifted her glass instead of 'toast',  s trying to sound out the word breakfast, S leaving me on the golf course in the hail storm, the list goes on.  Growing up, my Mom always told us the stories of the day we were born on our birthdays, and I tell my children their stories as well.  What pivotal events those days were, the days we met K and s.

As the first child, K's story is longer.  It begins tomorrow, Nov. 15, a day I was certain I would be no longer pregnant.  I knew the chances of a first timer going over due, but managed to convince myself that the workload of a resident would hurry labor along.  It didn't.  So, beginning on November 15 and continuing for the next seven days, K listens daily to "You still weren't born".  The septuplets were born in that week.  Every year, they are in the Sunday paper the week before K birthday.  Along with the "you're STILL pregnant?" comments, I was also hearing "Aren't you glad you don't have seven?"

Finally, on a Friday evening, the contractions started and worsened.  At midnight, we went to the hospital.  The every two minute contractions were not doing much and we spent the night fitfully sleeping, me sedated, sitting straight up to be as comfortable as possible, vomiting hourly.  The next day brought pitocin and finally an epidural which helped speed labor along. At 8:00 pm, we got to meet our K.  The pain, the struggle, all wiped away in an instant to meet this unique, special girl. 

My mother, who had been as impatient as I the past week, eventually called the hospital after we hadn't answered the phone all day.   At 5:00 pm, as the epidural had just taken effect, a nurse stuck her head in the door and said "Your mother is on the phone, she wants to know if she should come".  We asked the nurse to tell her to come.  My parents arrived in the waiting room 15 minutes before K was born, waited until she was all cleaned up, came in to sing her happy birthday and turned around to drive the 180 miles home.

As all new parents are, we were enthralled with our girl. We still are.  K is an amazing person; I am so lucky to know her and so proud of how special she is.  Without a doubt, all worth it.

K, I love you with all my heart, I always have and always will.  

Twenty four

Halloween weekend.  K had a birthday party, so she tricked and treated elsewhere.  s was a jedi. We had some friends join us for our travels.  Because daylight savings has been pushed back, we started in the light on an unseasonably warm evening.  It was beautiful.  Later we went to a lovely family halloween party.  I was pleased with my pirate costume, but eye patches turn out to be annoying.  

s started reading books to himself this week.  I have been waiting for this development for years and was overjoyed to find him curled up in the sunroom, reading to himself the books he has always loved to have read to him.  He started with a Scooby-doo book.  As he went upstairs to get another book, he laughed and commented, "Mom, I forgot how funny this book is!"

The election is only 3 days away.  I am so excited to take the kids with me to vote for Barack.

Also another first:  s asked me to turn up the radio so he could better hear the story playing on "This American Life".  Granted, it was a ghost story, but still...

Twenty three

The end of my week off has arrived.  It was a good week.  I had an adventure with Carlos and Grace, got some bulbs planted, my recertification tests finished, first mammogram done and new smoke alarms installed.  My niece, Selina, turns 1 this weekend.  I wish she was closer so I could bring her a birthday cake.  I imagine children's birthday parties are different in Germany.  

Its a cold, rainy day and feels like fall.  Dinner is tomato soup and toasted cheese bread.  The comment from s, "Do I have to eat that soup!?".  Yep, that's a lime green dutch oven.  A bit of a whim.  It will definitely still be around for the estate sale, I hope one of the kids likes green.

Twenty two

One of my joys over the last few months has been the opportunity to reconnect with my friend Amy.  Amy and I met in college, lived, traveled, and grew together.  She currently lives outside Washington DC (very far away!).  We connected thru the magic of facebook and when our family went to DC this summer we had a lovely but too brief dinner with her.   It was amazing to see my own Amy (looking amazingly the same) with her beloved gestures and voice all grown up in a new, settled and happy place.  She is now my biggest blog fan!  She sent me a message recently asking about my post-ragbrai riding and I realized that though exercise is a daily part of my life, I haven't written about it.  

I started to exercise in college, mainly so I could eat as I wished.  I have continued to run since college, taking 16 to 18 weeks off during each pregnancy.  Other activities included aerobics during college which evolved to a period using a cross-country ski machine in residency.  Pilates bothered my hip and I never really bonded with the stair climber.  My running has become less frequent as my knees become older.  (Interestingly, after running in the light [as opposed to the dark] the past two days, I am getting negative comments about the speed of my running.  Why do people feel the need to comment?!)  In between runs, I walk and bike as well as spin and hang out on the elliptical trainer in the off season.  I would like to fit in yoga, but haven't managed it yet.  I consider gardening my weight training in the summer; I may try more yoga to replace it this winter. 

 

Still the exercise is to control my weight.  I am not a great athlete, not fast, not strong and I never will be.  I am incredibly aware, however, that this activity is what makes feel feel fabulous most of the time.  I read an article a few years ago that asked the question whether exercise makes people feel good or people who feel good exercise.  I think it is a point well taken but think the former is more commonly the case.  I speak with people daily about how their lifestyle impacts their health.  If only we could bottle the effects of regular exercise, this gig would be much easier.  I have decided that most people can get by fairly well into their early thirties, after that, if they don't move regularly, they feel worse and worse.

Ragbrai, as I have mentioned, is a huge part of my life.  I started spinning to help prepare and I bike on the road once its warm. Usually, I stop riding my bike on the road very soon after Ragbrai and move back inside to spin.  This is partly because the trip out and back to Rock Creek gets very boring after the 20th time (small town, only one bike path)!  This year, I have continued to ride outside because Brother C is here to encourage me.  We often comment that the ride goes faster and the hills are easier with someone to talk to.  Politics and tiny circus are our most common topics.  

Another special thing about this year's Ragbrai was an unexpected weight loss.  Although it may seem riders on Ragbrai would lose weight, it doesn't usually work that way.  So many calories are required to preform the days' ride that most people maintain or slightly gain weight.  That has certainly always been the case for me.  For some reason this year my weight drifted down about 5 pounds after Ragbrai and has stayed.  Although I am delighted, I am also baffled. (and wondering if the scale is not working!)  My life has been a series of attempts to lose that 5 pounds.  The only time I have ever been successful is while nursing a 3 to 12 month old.  Last year my dad mentioned he had given up candy.  I decided to do the same and for the first 3 months of last year, I ate no candy (generally its my 5th food group).  I did not lose one pound, not one.   I must say as I counsel patients it has been bothering me that I finally achieved my goal without understanding how.  I'm sure that weight will creep back on over the winter, but for right now am pleased. 

So that, Amy, is the synopsis of my current exercise routine.  Be careful what you ask, you may get an answer!

Twenty one

As I was mowing the lawn, noticing the fall changes in the garden, a conundrum arose; finish cleaning the house before our guest arrives for the evening or post pictures on my blog about the garden?  (hmmm, I know which Amy will vote for, so, onward!)

I love the color and leaf of this thai basil.  Definitely a keeper for next year. Here in the picture with my favorite perennial geranium.

For next year, more zinnias in more spots!  I love how bright and tall they are.  I used off white nasturtiums this year in the white garden; next year, back to orange and red in a different spot.  Also I need more variegation in the border around the deck. (it will be a good winter project to find the right plant!)  I plan to put in more daffodils this week in the south bed.

A typical sign of s's presence, turned over bricks.  He turns over heavy things looking for bugs and doesn't quite get them back in the right spot.  I noticed a few weeks ago that the heavy limestone pavers were out of place--I've heard of winter heave from freezing, but what could the mechanism be in the summer?  After puzzling a bit, I asked s and he confirmed he's moved on to bigger stones!

Twenty

One of the perks of my job is the occasional gift that comes my way.  At Christmas patients bring homemade cookies and candies.  The delivery of a baby often brings thank you notes with pictures, flowers or edible treats.  A few weeks ago I delivered a gorgeous baby girl to a lovely couple.  They will be wonderful parents and are delighted with their new baby.  They dropped off a thank you basket of fruit to the office yesterday.  I brought it home; K and s are quite impressed.  s said last night (after discussing the pros and cons of having a job which brings one into contact with blood) that he is definitely going to be a physician if people bring you gift baskets.  This morning, noticing my casual attire, he asked if I was going to work today.  When I told him I am off, he said "yea", closely followed by "darn".   I asked him to explain.  He replied "Yea, cause we get to walk to school, darn because maybe you'll get more gift baskets if you go to work."  I have mentioned to my children many times that the opportunity and ability to do the work I do everyday is a gift in itself; it appears that the gift basket has made more of an impression for now.

I'm not much of a crafter or project person.  Although I grew up in 4-H and know how to sew, quilt, knit, crochet, tat, needlepoint, embroider, cook, bake and work in the shop, those projects have largely fallen away in the busyness of life.  I have been blessed with a childcare provider who enjoys crafts and has spent large amounts of time crafting with the kids.  It has developed their fine motor skills and given them patience.  I am eternally thankful for this, and many other roles, Angie has had in my kids' lives.

So, when the note came home Monday night that K needed a replica of an Iroquois long house made with representative materials by Friday, I had several gut responses--so little notice; argh, a project; anxiety about butting heads with my daughter over details; so little notice.  That said, we consulted Wikipedia, I started turning things over in my mind and I had a light week at work.  My first attempt to attach pine needles to cardboard failed and left me pretty sticky.  Next I (yes, I.  As my husband pointed out, I took control in order to get the project finished) cut out cardboard and used twigs from the garden to construct a semblance of a longhouse.  (see above)  K did watch almost the whole process.  (We only had 15 minutes until Biggest Loser!)  After my husband pointed out my over involvement in the project I was repentant and K and I came up with a new plan involving using leaves and a glue gun to cover the cardboard.  

We think the new longhouse is beautiful and a bit whimsical.  We didn't use wood or thatch to form the walls, but other products from trees.  I'm a bit worried about that, but K isn't so we'll see what the teacher thinks of our effort.

Nineteen

s likes to draw.  He is learning to read and has started adding captions to his art.  This piece made me think of my dear friend Greta.  She makes beautiful drawings.

If you misspell her name, it comes out as Great.  I also like to call her Sneaky Songe.

Eighteen

Even for adults, punishments can teach us something.

In the summer of 2007, I received two driving awards.  That's what my brother in law Dan calls speeding tickets, and that term always makes me smile.  Prior to that summer, my most recent ticket happened when K was 6 months old.  Getting two speeding tickets within 2 months was surprising, and needless to say caused me to change some habits.  S would ask, "Why don't you want to go to driving school, mommy?"  I make it a habit to know what the speed limit is and to try to stay 5 miles under, just in case I lose my focus and my speed drifts up.  On highways and interstates, I set the cruise right at the speed limit.  After time I even moved to driving 2-5 miles under the speed limit on road trip.  I discovered it is much less stressful to stay in the right lane most of the time rather than always worrying about passing.  I think its likely safer as well.  As I get more life experience, I worry more about unpredictable things happening on the road.  

This summer my friend Marie and I saw an accident happen right before our eyes.  We were driving down a highway when 1/4 mile ahead of us, a small car veered right into the path of a greyhound bus.  The bus turned toward the ditch to avoid the car, probably saving the driver's life, but the force of the impact tipped the bus into a deep ravine.  As we were the first on the scene, we stopped to help.  The elderly man who caused the accident was alert, stable but confused.  I am sure his medical status  caused the accident.  It reminded me vividly that we never know what is happening in those other cars on the road.  I have forgotten many sad and disturbing sights, but for some reason this incident has stuck with me, fresh in my mind.  I imagine as I get older, my driving will become more conservative.

As I heard my husband and a friend speak recently about their frustration with slow drivers, I realized that those speeding tickets changed the way I drive.  Driving just a bit slower is less stressful, feels safer and saves gas as well.  As I am also trying to be less focused on time, not worrying about arriving 6 minutes earlier in Iowa City seems like a good change.

Margie and Carl Gartner were lifelong friends of my maternal grandparents, second parents to my mom.  I love this story about them.  I dearly hope I live long enough and slow down enough to drive making only right turns.

Seventeen

Pictures from the Homecoming parade.

Also, we met friends at a nearby lake on one of the last warm days.  I didn't bring along swimsuits, but that didn't stop the kids from hopping in the lake.  S in underpants, K fully clothed!

 

Sixteenth

S and I, with our friends the Cogleys and the McKnights, made our way 20 miles down the road to the Iowa speedway this weekend.  Scott bought the tickets at a charity auction and the McKnights won some at the hospital golf outing. We met up with other friends from Grinnell and had a great time.   In one of the owner's boxes, it was more like a party than a noisy car race.  After, we danced to a live country music band.  These are pictures with the Iowa Speedway Mascot and the Governor.  Also in attendance, Iowa celebrity Bobby Hanson, Scott got a picture of the girls with him.

I also got some much needed work done in the garden.  Here is s, hamming it up with his rabbit!

I transplanted hostas from mom's garden to an empty area along the rear of the north bed.  I also moved in some of a plant my friend Anne gave me.  I don't know the name, but I has these amazingly variegated leaves and interesting, tiny red flowers.  It spreads like mad.  Time will tell the wisdom of moving it into this bed!

This is the first year this hydrangea has bloomed, I love it!

Fifteenth

A quiet weekend at our house. This week C, Jenn and I went to ride with some friends to Cumming.  A great ride; wonderful to see friends, share a meal, beverages and an afternoon and many laughs.  

S and I used the sculpy clay to make some figures.  I wished Greta was here. (I always wish Greta was here)  I know she would have fun and make some amazing pieces.  S told me he's been having nightmares; hopefully these folks will keep the bad dreams away.

The kids are settling into school.  K got her clarinet this week.  She showed it off to Nana and Papa before noon meal on Sunday.  Later she went to ride Socks with  Nana and our friend Jo.  Jo has been working with her on the horse.  I am delighted to have K know strong people who help her learn new skills and confidence.

Fourteenth

And so, I am a news junkie right now.  I am watching the progress of my favorite, Barack. I believe this man can heal us, begin to right the wrongs we have perpetrated, make me proud of this country.  My stomach twists into knots as I read the news and pundits obsessively.   Could anyone really believe this man with that strong wife and his background is sexist?  Do people not listen to the news, not check facts, really think living close to a foreign country is foreign policy experience, really vote based on chromosomes?  

I have to stop. Today. No more news. No more polls. 

I believe in Obama's vision.  I am inspired.  We as a country will do the right thing.  We have to.

Thirteenth

We are finishing up a summer project, our front door.  Our shingle style house was built in 1907.  We have made changes since we moved in; moving the carriage house, adding a garage, updating the kitchen and downstairs bath, adding a bathroom on the first floor.  It bothered me that our front door was so decrepit I could see daylight between the panels, so I talked S into considering an overhaul. We love this old home and, of course, any changes have to be true to the original.  We priced a new custom door with true divided lights and a curved profile and quickly discarded that option.  I am fortunate to be married to a man who can build or repair almost anything, so this spring the project began.  Although I can help with somethings, S is the brains of this project.  He found the stripper, a heated paint remover.  It worked fabulously, and we got the paint off in a weekend.   The shop where he works made us a new threshold and repaired and refurbished the door as well as made us new mullions for the lower windows.  (We decided to leave the uppers alone.)  We still need to replace and glaze the windows, Scott will work on that on his day off next week.  We are closing in on the end of the project and today started painting.  I'm glad to see the red-orange paint going back on, the off-white primer seemed very bland.  The color of the front door has definitely changed the palate I use in the garden.  It's still an old house, and the door still fits in; I am pretty sure visitors will not be able to tell and difference.   I love the new old door and am so lucky to have a husband willing and able to take on the project.  

Now, what next...

Twelfth

S and I walked out the back door, leaving for school , and gasped in unison.  

Also at the back door, a friend made a home for a night.

Eleventh

So I got "tagged" by Jenn.  A list can be a difficult thing, but this is a reflective time. This is a bit of a crossroads, I am definitely no longer a kid (except to the octogenarians, its all in the perspective) and have tried to use this year to think about what I have done so far and to reflect on my goals for the next 60 years (or so).  I have had trouble finding three things for each category, so I just listed as many items as are pertinent.

My joys:

• my family
  
• my friends
• my work
• my (and my family's) health. 

I am the luckiest person I know.

My fears:

• making a mistake at work.  I love my job.  One of my greatest challenges, however, is the command of the Hippocratic oath;"First, do no harm".  Unfortunately, it is possible to harm both by not doing enough and by doing too much.  Missing a diagnosis is something every physician is constantly vigilant against.  On the other hand, diagnostic tests can also reveal incidental findings which have no clinical significance but can cause extra anxiety and unnecessary testing or procedures.  Finding the right balance is a constant struggle and still causes sleepless nights.
  
• multiple sclerosis

My goals:

• making a difference, to my family and my patients, and maybe someday the world beyond
• peace, within myself, toward others and in the world
• 40 (or so) more years of Ragbrai

Obsessions/collections

• Ragbrai
• my garden
• collections-old globes and antique watering cans

Surprising facts

(I'm not sure how anything could be surprising to readers as everyone has known me for a long time!)

• I was a cheerleader in high school
• I played rugby (poorly) in college
• I delivered a very special baby three days after S's birth.  (This is one of the reasons I no longer need to prove my physical and mental toughness--two centuries, two deliveries, residency and Libby's birth (which actually wasn't that hard) )

Tenth

We went to Adventureland, the kids and I, with my friend J and her kids.   We arrived early enough to stay on the rides as long as the kids wished.  Sometimes the older kids teamed up with younger kids when moms (me) were too scared to ride.  We played and rode, hit the water park, then rode a few last rides before heading home.  We had a great time spending the day with friends.